i often feel, well to be honest- like jumping into the hudson... instead, i go to my favorite places and think about my favorite people, and then i re-read words that moved me, re-watch/listen to film clips that make me feel so much less alien and just a little more me. every time, like it is the first time. i need quotes, they're like verbal stills, stills that have captured all that is necessary to help me go on. to inspire me to be alright, being still not quite 'human'. which is so fucking overrated. - stillnothuman

“Tu y yo sabemos, lo que sufren los muertos que se van con deudas…”

—Biutiful

2

“I don’t want a childhood. I want to be a ballet dancer.”

—Billy Elliot

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The Hours

I Failed
Films

“If in my youth I had realized that the sustaining splendor of beauty of with which I was in love would one day flood back into my heart, there to ignite a flame that would torture me without end, how gladly would i have put out the light in my eyes.”

—Michelangelo on Beauty

“You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don’t even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don’t even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me.”

—George Monroe on Change - Life As A House

5

“Johnathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long-reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. “Things were clearer for him,” Kansky noted. Ultimately Johnathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum”, what we currently refer to as destiny.”

—The obituary of Jonathan Trager by Dean Kansy - Serendipity

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